Giving Up The Power Struggle

This topic if very hard for an Aries woman to talk about.

To continue on with my story....
When I got home from the crystal shop I sat down at the kitchen table and unwrapped my new friends.  The princess amethyst and the powerful citrine.  I put the citrine on and put the amethyst away for later (not knowing then that I would actually need it to calm me).  Within 5 minutes of wearing the citrine, my vibrational frequency changed to a nasty, power starved, shaking beast.  I had no idea what was happening to me and I did not connect the sudden mood swing to the crystal at the time.  I stood outside of my body and watched my body(and mind) grasping for the last straws of ultimate power within the dynamics of a husband and wife relationship.
 Me being an Aries with Taurus tendencies and moon in Gemini makes me one hell of a bitch sometimes. (To be quite frank).  I am working on controlling my temper though.  I seem to have a very strong dark side, and for anyone who has read the works of Eckhart Tolle,  a pain body like no other.  I thank my lucky stars though that I am not plagued by this kind of condition frequently.  Like other people, I have my triggers. 
After this short digress into my natal chart we find ourselves back in my story of the citrine crystal.  I cant explain my rationality for acting the way I did, it simply was not rational and I knew this at the time because like I said I had to step out of my body to witness this. It was too painful to actually be present in the body at that time.  So I remember looking at my mind thoughts and knowing they weren't mine, that I didn't actually feel this way.  Wishing I could just make it stop now not after the process had finished.  Somehow I knew I was experiencing a physical transformation and my mind was fighting it. I remember at one time just plain asking for help because I couldn't take the frequency anymore.  And then it suddenly stopped.  I was back in my body and it felt changed.  I felt clear and clean and I didn't care about power at all anymore.  I felt balanced. I knew I had changed.  I went and layed down to contemplate what had just taken place, after a while I remembered my precious crystal.  Nah, couldn't be, could it.
I jumped out of bed and went to find out more about the crystal being I had just let into my aura....